


I Love You Like I Love the Moon

by SourSpark



Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive!Erica, Always-a-girl!Stiles, Angst, Body Horror, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Future Pregnancy, Happy Ending-I promise, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Pack Feels, Pack Mom Stiles, Self Harm, Smut, Tag As I Go, Werewolf Lydia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:46:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourSpark/pseuds/SourSpark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has been through and survived many things in her life.<br/>Has been trained to handle many situations.<br/>Some easy, some not.</p><p>This especially, is one of those difficult situations, one she just might not be strong enough to handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strength to Move Forward

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Rape Triggers. If you think that will bother you, please refrain from reading this.
> 
> But, I do promise the story doesn't revolve around that. I will move on from that topic, to something way less traumatic. But, it will be a little later.
> 
> And, yes I know I should be working on YoR (Years of Running) and TGFS (Thank God for Survivor), but I just couldn't get the idea for this fic out of my head. 
> 
> So, please enjoy.

_"She's got the whole dark forest living inside her."_

-Tom Waits

 

 

**\-----------------------------------------------**

She survived a psychopathic Alpha, a Kanima, and an Alpha Pack.

Yet exactly thirty days ago she had been kidnapped. Straight from her own fucking house at two in the morning. She was packing her last moving box headed for Derek’s house, when a man she thought was someone from the pack climbed through her window, and knocked her out cold.  When she woke up she didn’t know where she was, didn’t know how she got there; and strapped to a chair somewhere underground.

She never understood why the hunters did it, because the pack was established, with a strong group of people and territory. But, of course the one night she was alone, they take her. And, even with all her training, strength, weapons and smarts, they still got ahold of her.

_Oh the things they did to her._

One month with three hunters, who knew exactly how much to push, yet still kept you from having any broken bones. They were evil with the things they did, creative if she thought about it, but _she rather not_. All of it because they thought she would be the easiest to break, be the one that would give them all of the information.

_The weak human._

But, never would Stiles do that to the pack, so she let them do what they wanted to her. Let them think she was weak, right up until she found the best moment to get away.  

So when the time came, she got free, all by herself; she fought them off long enough for her to run as fast as she could out of the underground chamber at the edge of woods, _the edge of the territory_ , and run, run as fast as she could. Not stopping until she reached the only person she truly knew that could keep her safe.

_Derek._

She herd them yelling and screaming, calling her names as they chased after her. But she used all of the energy she had left, not minding her _many_ injuries and just kept on _going_ , until she reached the clearing.

**~*~**

Which leads her to where she is now, trying desperately to reach the door of the Hale mansion, where the lights were still on, and she knows they are eating dinner, _the pack_.

She reaches for the door knob and turns it quickly, until she feels the warm hardwood floor against her bare feet, and just collapses because she is finally _safe_.

She hears an array of gasps and “oh my gods” before the entire house erupts with movement.

Derek reaches her first, slowly moving a hand out to her.

“Don’t-don’t touch me,” She closes her eyes taking a deep breath before looking up at Derek with pleading eyes, “Just, go take care of the hunters….they aren’t that far off .” She whispers with gritted teeth, slowly trying to get to her feet.

“Your hurt- just let me help you get upstairs. Here I’ll have Scott-.”

“I said no,” Stiles gasps out holding on to her side as she gets up, “Everyone go out there and kill those disgusting fucks- except Lydia, I need to talk to you- and well…. I need help up the stairs.”

Everyone stood there in shock for a moment, “Go! They aren’t that far off!”

Everyone starts moving then, shifting completely and running outside in one big group. She looks over at Lydia, whose eyes are shining bright gold; moving over to Stiles and wrapping her hand around her elbow, slowly helping her upstairs without any words.

**~*~**

When they get to Derek’s bedroom, she lets out a loud sigh; and sits on the edge of their bed, closing her eyes and letting everything sink in at once; everything she has been through in the last month, desperately trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to fall.

Stiles has never been weak, she has been through enough to know that there is no room for weakness with the life she lives. She has been through enough training that she is strong enough to take down almost anything without a problem. Give her any weapon and she will know how to use it, give her any book she will know how to do research quick enough to get the job done, tell her to use her spark, she will handle the situation well. She is trained to not feel, and just get the job done, because that's the only way she will survive. Because she has a family to protect, a _pack_ to take care of.

That is why it almost breaks her completely to see the pain in Lydia’s eyes, as she watches Stiles.

She looks at Lydia giving her a small smile, “Stop it, I’m fine. Just help me with these stupid clothes.”

Lydia wipes the tears out of her eyes and walks over to Stiles, helping her peel off the remains of her bloody white t-shirt, gasping loudly at what it reveals. Stiles knows what she is looking at without even having to look in the mirror. She has ten long gashes across her back, along with six “x” shaped brandings and a few other gashes.

“Stiles, they did this to you?” Lydia asks, shaky hands clasped over her mouth

“Well-yeah, who else would have done it?”

“It’s just; you’re acting like they don’t hurt at all.”

“Those aren’t the only things on me, and they aren’t the most painful.” Stiles answers, as she slowly takes off her pants and underwear.

Lydia gasps again, “No. Stiles they didn’t.” Looking at the dried blood that runs down both her legs, joining the other dirt smeared lacerations on her legs and knees.

Stiles whips her head around, facing Lydia with tears in her eyes, “Yeah.”

“Oh Stiles, honey, why didn’t you tell me? We need to get you cleaned up.”

**~*~**

Stiles knows what she looks like, dirty, used, and broken. There are cuts, bruises, gashes, and brands all over her body. But none of that hurt more than the fact that she couldn’t get the feeling of that man’s hand’s on her off her body, the loud hateful laughs and moans he let out as she screamed and begged for him to stop, the way he put on the condom last minute whispering in her ear that “we wouldn’t want any sympathizing bastards running around here would we?”, and the fast and painful movements as he thrust into her without any remorse. All of it forever burned into her memory.

She sits in the tub with a blank look on her face; watching Lydia and the constant looks of sympathy, as she gently washes the dirt and blood off her, trying to be as careful as possible with her wounds.

When she is done she lets Stiles dry off before she tells her to lay down on the bed, so she can stitch her up.

Stiles lays there, silently watching as Lydia brings in the first aid kit, towels, and bucket of water.

“This is going to hurt, because I know you don’t want to go to the hospital, _like always_. So I don’t have anything to numb you with.”  Lydia says as she starts taking out everything she needs.

“I figured that. Just do it, I can take it.”

Lydia nods before ripping open a couple alcohol swabs, and cleaning Stiles’ wounds, “You’re lucky I know how to do this stuff. Is there anything else other than all of these wounds and you know _the other thing_?”

“You can say it Lydia, I was raped, okay I know what happened to me. There isn’t much we can fucking do about it now.” Stiles snaps, glaring at the ceiling.

“Sorry, it’s just that-.”

“It’s fine. But, yeah….my left shoulder and right knee are dislocated. I tried to fix them, but I didn’t have enough strength.”

Lydia nods before putting all the dirty alcohol swabs down, “I’ll take care of that when I am done with everything else.”

Stiles nods, still not looking Lydia in the eye. 

Before Lydia can get the needle threaded they both jump as they here the commotion outside for the first time, multiple loud roars before dead silence. Stiles sits up quickly before looking at Lydia, “What do you hear?!”

Lydia whose eyes are glowing gold shakes her head, “Their all fine, now sit back so I can do this.”

Stiles does as she was told, closing her eyes and preparing for the pain.

She screams loudly as Lydia starts quickly pulling the needle back and forth through her skin, slightly feeling her skin being knit together with the thread. She grasps at the sheets on the bed, desperately trying to keep herself from flinching or moving away.

Each one hurts more and more, causing Stiles to start panting and breaking a sweat, swearing in-between screams. She has tears in her eyes as she watches Lydia finish the last of them.

“All done.” Lydia says, as she reaches for the bucket of water and a towel. She wipes Stiles down once more, cleaning all of the sweat and tears off her face before smiling softly down at Stiles.

“What’s next?” She asks dreadfully, feeling like she is going to pass out.

“You’re going to have to spread your legs so I can clean down there correctly” Lydia says before rummaging through the first aid kit for what she needs.

Stiles takes a deep breath before maneuvering herself slowly into the position Lydia wants her in.

She closes her eyes trying to hold back the tears that are _again_ threatening to fall, as she feels Lydia’s hands roam around.

**~*~**

When she is done she helps Stiles put on a new pair of underwear, and lay back down.

“The only thing left is the shoulder and knee. Are you ready?”

“I think I can handle it.” Stiles says eyes screwed tightly shut as Lydia wraps her hands around her shoulder, positioning them so she can easily relocate it. Stiles screams out in pain as it goes back into place with a loud crack.

Lydia then moves down to her knee, trying to go as fast as possible. Stiles lets out yet another scream as her knee pops back into place, panting as she looks at Lydia.

“Thank you.” Stiles says, voice raspy from screaming, she pulls Lydia up for a hug.

“We are glad to have you back Stiles. Now get some rest, I’ll let the other know you can be scene now.” Lydia says as she pulls back with tears in her eyes.

Stiles nods trying to get comfortable on the bed.

**~*~**

She doesn’t sleep, afraid of what she might see if she does. Instead she stares at the ceiling trying to figure out what she is going to do to try and make everything seem normal.

She is pulled out or her thoughts when the door to her room opens. When she focuses on the figure, she can see its Scott. She grins slightly when she sees Isaac behind him, both looking uncertain.

Stiles can hear them stage whispering at each other to be quiet before she clears her throat and they stare at her surprised.

“Stiles, sorry we didn’t mean to wake you.” Isaac says first, glaring at Scott who is sporting his iconic puppy eyes.

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Stiles says.

“Oh.” They both say at once.

“You guys can come over here if you want.” She watches as they practically trip over each other getting over to the bed.

They lay on either side of her, two big walls of warmth, “Where’s Derek?”

“He went for a run,” Isaac mumbles into Stiles’ neck, arm slung across her stomach, holding on to Scott’s hand on the other side, “Yeah, he got a little frantic after the fight, told us to come and stay with you while he was gone.”

Stiles nods and looks over at Scott, “So, what did I miss?”

“Not much, everyone is okay. The whole pack missed you so much dude.”

Stiles huffs out a laugh, “Ha, well I’m back buddy. No need to worry anymore.” She lies; there is _so much_ to worry about.

She knows there is a lot she has to get over, _has to heal_. Has to talk to Derek, _knowing_ it is going to be the hardest part, because he knows her better than anyone in the pack, and will know when she is lying. She knows she can’t just get up the tomorrow morning and act like everything is normal, as if she was never taken, but the pack is going to want to talk and ask questions. And Stiles will have no choice but to tell them everything, let them help her even though every bone in her body is telling her that _the pack shouldn’t have to take care of her_ , and that _she should be taking care of the pack._

Then there is telling her Dad, knowing he has been working just as hard as the pack in trying to find her, because the hunters told her every time the pack or the police were close, _but not close enough_ ; and then would carry on in beating her and hiding her scent from them. She thought about her Dad every day she was there, even more than the pack, hating how much pain she was putting him through with every passing day. But, blaming herself gave her the unique strength that allowed her to get free. So, she knows the first thing she has to do is go see her dad and thank him, _for never giving up_ and helping the pack.

Recovery is going to be difficult. She has so much to work through, and heal from. But she knows she can, she isn’t weak, no matter how many times the hunters told her differently.

“Stiles, stop overthinking and get some sleep.” Isaac says rubbing his face on her neck, both him and Scott snuggling closer.

She takes a deep breath before _finally_ falling asleep.

**~*~**

Sleep doesn’t last long though, been that way for a long time. She has the same nightmares as always. This time though is different, because she is expecting to wake up in the dirty confines of the hunters, being hit because she screamed or made to much noise. But, instead she is woken up from her loud cries by Isaac and Scott holding her down, and looking at her in concern.

“Stiles relax, you’re okay. You’re home _and_ safe.” Scott says letting go and of her arm, and helping her into a sitting position, then hugging her just tight enough that it won’t hurt her, Isaac joining them after a minute.

All three of them sit there in silence for a moment before Stiles has the strength to talk, “Thanks guys,” She closes her eyes and takes in a shaky breath before letting her tears fall and completely letting go for the first time in forever, “For everything. For not giving up on me.” She sobs into Scott’s neck, repeating the same thing over and over again.

When she finally calms down, she lays back on the bed with Scott and Isaac. Breathing in the scent of her home, the pack, and for the first time in a long time she feels safe.

Stiles knows it’s going to be hard, it’s the inevitable truth. But she knows she can do it now. Because, she has her family, her pack, and Derek, and she knows they will help her.

She wants to fight the darkness that has been surrounding her for the last month.

She isn’t scared anymore. _She is ready_.

 


	2. Story Update/Authors Notes-11-10-13

Hi. Its been a while, l know. But, the reason it has taken so long to update is because my laptop went to shit at the beginning of September, and I haven't been able to even get on it. This is incredibly bad because all my files and documents dedicated to the

whole story, and any of my other stories were on there and now I can't get to any of them. I had so many things in there that I needed to continue writing. I even have the betaed/redited parts of the first chapter of I Love You Like I Love The Moon.  Anyways the

point is that until I get my laptop fixed, which should be in the next couple of weeks..... I can't even attempt to continue writing. So, please bare with me while I sort everything out.

I promise I will get to writing the moment I get my files back. Thank you for your patience, I greatly appreciate it, every reader means the world to me, so again thank you. I will see you all hopefully soon.(: 

**-Sam**

  **(SparksOfTheMind86)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any questions, I am on tumblr @themindlessredspark.tumblr.com
> 
> I will try and keep people up to date on the entire thing, and when I plan on finally posting the next chapter(s).

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that.
> 
> Its only chapter one, and Stiles has so much to work through. So, please stick with this story because I promise the end game is for Stiles to be happy.
> 
> And don't worry I am still working on my other fics. Their next chapters will be coming out soon.(: 
> 
> But, like always, questions about anything relating the story, concerns, ideas, suggestions, anything? Well, ask me here, or you can find me on tumblr @themindlessredspark
> 
> Any and All feedback is appreciated and encouraged, it motivates me, inspires my writing, and gives me the will to stay with this story.
> 
> Thank You again for reading. See you next time.(:
> 
> (Don't know when the next chapter will be. But, I promise to update when I have a chance.)
> 
> As a visual....I picture girl!stiles to look like Maia Mitchell: http://www.hdpaperwall.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Maia_mitchell.jpg


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